I feel so old.

I turn 22 next month. I was old enough to drink last year, but I've decided it's not really my thing. Smoking. Drinking. Gambling. Promiscuous sex. Not my thing.

Why do I feel so old? I work 40+ hours a week. Two days off. My paycheck goes to paying off loans, and helping my parents out with bills. That part I don't mind so much. I think I feel old, because of my job.

I don't hate my job, it just takes a lot out of me. More than it should. The job itself is not hard, it's everything attached to it. I'm 22. I should still be in college, studying or whatever else people do at college. But as you all know, I went to DeVry. Excellerate learning. Which means "If you can keep up, you can get a degree" two years and seven months...that's how long I got for what most people have four years for. That part wasn't so bad...but it means I'm tossed out in the world early. Funny...why didn't I think of that before I went to that school. I could've gone to Nevada State and gone to Vegas every weekend, but noooooo...

So here I am, in Ketchikan Alaska...my hometown, I wouldn't mind moving away from...with a job with people twice my age or more. I knew when I chose a business career path that I'd be working with people who'd been in the field a lot longer, but I never though I'd be by myself with these people. Don't get me wrong, my coworkers are nice enough, and my boss is humane. There's just not really anyone I can talk to or relate to. These women have seen a lot of life, while I'm just starting out. I feel like I have act a certain way in order for them to take me seriously, see me as a coworker, not some intern. I'm professional, I do my job, and I get paid a reasonable salary, considering the economy. But at the end of the day, I'm sooo tired. I don't even have the energy to do anything after work, other than go home and defreeze my face.

I don't hate my job, I'm just unhappy with it. I foolishly made a verbal agreement to stay for at least another year...I was thinking of the pay and the experience...job security. It'll look good on my resume, and they're needing to keep me whether or not they think they can afford to, which means less hours, but at least I still have a job by the end of the season. For those who don't know, a season is the tourist season, the rush of profits that requires more staff. When the season is over, it's impractical to have the same number of staff. But the office, where I work, is going through something of a transition, so I'm the flexible party that'll be crosstrained into doing the jobs that can be delegated to me.

I don't know where to go next from here. The most logical step is to keep gaining experience in different accounting jobs and eventually get my cpa. There is an area of accounting that I like more than others, but will getting a cpa make a position with that area available to me? I don't know. Who's to say I'll even like the job I have after this one. My mom wants me to end up with a government job, while my dad silently hopes I'll say "screw it" and start my own business or help him with one. Both have their benefits, but I'm not sure either will fulfill my life to the point of more than a few months of contentment.

A job that I can do and that pays well is a gift I shouldn't take for granted, benefits are a plus too. But I'm 22, and when I'm 82 I don't want to have wasted my life because of missed chances or bad decisions.